Who should read this book?
Here are some common issues and concerns we addres in this book. Ask youself if any of the below questions apply to you and your relastionship.
1 Do you feel as if your partner doesn’t understand you?
This is by far the most common complaint we hear when people come into the office. Do you feel your partner would react totally differently to you if only they understood you better?
2 Do you feel you are stuck and that you’ve tried everything to fix your relationship?
This is probably the second most common concern, and given enough time, will often lead to people making poor choices in an attempt to move past the logjam they are feeling.
3 Do you feel there is a significant power imbalance between the two of you?
Who has the power in your relationship, and in what areas? Do you feel you’re limited or cut off in discussing details of life decisions in your relationship and family?
4 Do you feel you can’t be honest with your partner about your true feelings?
If you share what you’re really feeling, do you feel you’ll be told you’re wrong, judged, or rejected in some way? It’s really hard to be authentic if you feel you’ll be rejected.
5 Do you feel you can’t fully trust your partner with your heart?
Are there things you’ve shared with your partner that they’ve shared with others, or they’ve later thrown back in your face? This often leads to broken trust between the two of you.
6 Do you feel that you or your partner find little joy in serving each other?
Mutual service between mates is an important part of a relationship. People want to feel a joy in serving as well as being served by their partner. When this is missing, things feel like a chore rather than a way to say, “I love seeing you happy.”
7 Do you get more fulfilment from kids, work, or other interests than your partner?
People will often say they get more meaning and fulfillment from other areas of their life than their partner and that their relationship is more a utility of life than a source of inspiration and safety.
8 Do you feel that if only you’d married the right person your marriage wouldn’t be struggling so much?
It’s common to look at our problems and believe, “If only I’d married somebody else, I wouldn’t have these problems.” This is why too many people start to look up old partners on social media.
9 Do you or your partner struggle to talk about aspects of your physical intimacy?
One of the best indicators of how well a couple is communicating is how well they can talk about their intimacy differences in the bedroom. It’s extremely common for spouses to have different wants, needs, and desires from one another. The question is, how easy is it for you to talk about them?
10 Are you considering leaving your relationship?
At times, we all think about what life would be like if we ended things, but are you honestly considering leaving your relationship? Are you currently working on an exit strategy?
11 Are you struggling with family dynamics such as a blended family or in-law issues?
Do you feel you are second, third, or even fourth in line in your partner’s priorities? Are there significant loyalty issues between the two of you when it comes to feeling supported?
12 Are you or your partner struggling with addictions or any repeated breach of trust?
Humans are wired for relationships. When we struggle with addictions, we’re attempting to have a pathological relationship with something that can’t love us back. Building a strong relationship can go a long way in reducing those repeated negative patterns.